Changing habits and losing subscribers
Welcome to 2025
I’m going to lose a lot of subscribers today. And that’s fine. If you’re tempted to unsubscribe after the next couple paragraphs, you’ll find the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
Now you probably think I’m going to write about politics in the U.S. You’re right, of course, because it’s unavoidable and important. But, that’s not the whole lesson, so let’s get to it.
I’ve quit smoking more times than I can count. I’ll be going along, feeling fine and not smoking, but then something stresses me out and that triggers me to start again. I’m currently smoking again and have been since November. I know it’s terrible for me, but smoking is my nihilistic revenge on whatever is making me mad or stressed out. Eating poorly, drinking, and not exercising tend to go hand in hand with the smoking. So, that’s not great.
With the recent election here, I’ve been feeling helpless — I suspect many of you currently feel that way, or have felt that way in the past when something you strongly disagree with has happened that’s far outside your control. But, this isn’t the place to rant about how angry I am that fascism and stupidity are winning and threatening to destroy all the progress we made in the 20th century. How many subscribers have I lost?
I don’t want to be a smoker. I want to exercise, be healthy, and work to make my community a better place. I started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear yesterday and it’s given me a new insight into what I’m doing wrong and how to choose a different approach.
Everything we do happens according to the following pattern:
Cue
Craving
Response
Reward
Habits are formed when you repeat the same thing so many times it becomes automatic. This is a great tool for learning guitar. It’s not so great when I’m trying to quit smoking. So, how do I tie this knowledge into my feelings about the current political situation?
My immediate instinct right now is to say things like “I’m not buying anything from [insert company with practices you disagree with],” or “I’m quitting [insert a billionaire-owned social media company here],” or “I’m moving to Canada.” Even if I end up following through on the one of these things I haven’t already done, it has a limited impact and I’ll still end up being frustrated. And, I’ll probably still be smoking.
Instead, what I’m going to do is to make myself less helpless. Every time I take the time to write something rather than smoking makes me stronger. Every time I go to the gym I become more likely to have the energy to stay positive. Every time I choose to eat a banana rather than a bagel with cream cheese, I’m gaining more control over my life and health and happiness. Once I’ve become less helpless, then I can focus on trying to change the world, starting with making my town a better place, doing the best job I can for my students and readers, and being the best I can be for my family.
I’ve been practicing the habit of smoking for many years. But, I’ve also been practicing the habit of worrying and having self-destructive responses to stress and things that make me angry. That’s stopping now. I’m writing to you because this inspiration might be helpful to someone (regardless of your political leanings) and because documenting how it’s going will help to keep me honest.
Thanks for reading, and best wishes!
-Chris